Adopting from foster care abounds with misconceptions and fear. "Will the child bond with his family? Will the birth family take her back?" But while the fear is great, the love is greater.Ā Since February is a month that celebrates love of all types, local expert Jennifer Lake, the Resource Family Development Specialist as well as the Post Permanency Specialist at Bethany Christian Services, shares
What are some common misconceptions or fears about adopting from foster care? Any ways to
overcome?
Some common misconceptions about adopting from foster care include:
1. āItās too expensiveā. The reality is that the costs are very minimal. Adopting a child from foster care is often funded by the state and in many cases there are little to no fees (varies by state). Medical assistance and financial subsidies are often available as well.
2. āAn older child will never be able to bond with our familyā. This is simply not true! Sure, kids in foster care come with a lot of hurts and they will have aĀ hard time trusting adults again when their experiences with adults have not been safe thus far. While there are some kids in care that will struggle significantly with attaching to anyone, the majority of kids in foster care are able to trust, bond and love a family after enough time has gone by and they feel safe again. There will always be triggers for a child that has come from some of the things that children in foster care have had to come from but they are never beyond hope. They need unconditional love. They need consistency. They need someone to show up for them. They need a family.
3. āIf I adopt from foster care, the child could still go back to their birth family.ā If a child is adopted, they are legally your child now. There is no threat of that child going back to their birth family. However, in some cases, we do encourage that the adoptive family continue a relationship with birth family members that their adopted child has had a positive experience with. Any child that has been adopted, regardless of the age the child was adopted at, will struggle with abandonment issues. If we can help a child feel connected to the loving and positive parts of their family of origin, then we have a responsibility to do so. It takes a special family to be able to foster this relationship but if it is in the best interest of the child then it is the right thing to do.
What are some common setbacks when adopting from foster care?
Do you recommend fostering before adopting?
How do private adoption agencies compare to public agencies?
Typically, an affiliate agency is going to be able to provide much more training and support to a family than a public agency is able to do simply because of caseload and demands.
I think this truly depends on the family dynamics, personalities of the children and ages of the children already living in the home. There is no āone size fits allā with foster care adoption.
What are the first steps when adopting from foster care process?
The first step would be to come to a Foster Care/Foster Care Adoption Orientation and learnĀ more about the process, ask questions and be educated on the facts. After going through anĀ orientation, families that decide they are ready to become foster parents or adopt through theĀ foster care system, will go through training classes to prepare them for whatās to come.Ā